For Those About To Suck Cock… We Salute You EP
Pansy Divisiont
7:28 min • Lookout! Records • August, 1996
Walter Beck reviews
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Released in 1996, this seven-inch EP finds America’s favorite punk rock queers in a metal mood, laying out three headbanging tracks, mixing a heavy crunching sound with Jon Ginoli’s poppy vocals. Featuring one original and two covers, this record provides a sweet treat for long-haired rock ‘n’ roll cocksuckers all over.
Opening with the original ‘Headbanger’, Jon and the boys sling out a love song to an improv pick up at the local music store. Jon has his eyes set on a long haired metalhead and a desire to give him a queer sexual tour,
I saw him at Guitar Center,
He didn’t look like a ten-percenter.
He was picking up picks and strings,
I was into picking up other things.
He was a hasher, a hairshaker,
Looked to me like a mattress breaker.
When he followed me out of the store,
I knew he wanted more more more –
Jon and young metalhead have a good romp, which ends when the kid has to leave to pick up his girlfriend. Still, Jon finds his heart for the kid, singing in the chorus,
He’s my headbanger boy,
My heavy metal toy –
Toward the end of the song, there’s a pretty killer old school thrash guitar solo, credited to Al Shatonia, who turns out to be none other than Metallica’s lead axe slinger, Kirk Hammett.
The b-side of the single finds the band slinging out a couple of classic metal covers, the first one being ‘Sweet Pain’, originally recorded by KISS from their 1976 masterpiece Destroyer. So how does Pansy Division’s version cut it? Speeding up the basic rhythm and cutting the time in half compared to the original, the band’s tribute is more in the spirit than in the actual sound, even though Ginoli cranks up the distortion and keeps a distinctly metallic sound through the cover. I think for someone as sex-crazed as Gene Simmons is, he would appreciate this punked-up tribute.
For the second cover, the band picks up a metal standard, Judas Priest’s ‘Breaking the Law’ from their iconic 1980 album British Steel. The sound of the cover is much closer to the original, with the band faithfully reproducing the riffs of the original, still with their own punk-edged touch.
The real surprise in the Judas Priest cover is the slight re-writing of the lyrics, while the original was an ode to mischief in general, Pansy Division turns into a political anthem, decrying the sodomy laws still on the books in many states when this single was released, shouting out,
Breaking the law,
Breaking the law,
Breaking the law,
The sodomy law –
The political edge takes a turn halfway through the track when the music fades down to two guys in the midst of a blowjob when a cop pulls up and asks just what in the hell they’re doing, the song jumps right back into the chorus, a powerful cry against laws that criminalized gay sex.
Given Judas Priest leader singer Rob Halford’s now-open homosexuality and his support for equality, I’d bet he appreciated this rebellious tribute from Jon and the boys.
This three-track EP is a worthwhile search for those who like their queercore injected with a dose of metal. Pansy Division have delivered a fitting tribute to the metal gods of old and the long-haired ten percenters who love their heavy sound.
