Each Friday Polari shares its favourite WTF?! search terms from the last 7 days.

How do Googlers get to Polari using some of these search terms?

Here are our 7 favourite, and no so favourite, WTF?! search terms from this week…

#1

ben drew showing penies

The bad spelling aside, isn’t that something we’d all love to see?!? You’ll have to write to Attitude or GT, though, for when faced with a hot celebrity the standard in-house reaction is “let’s get him to do a naked photo shoot – and shame him into doing it by telling him it’s for charity!”

#2

homosexual in church

Gay people are ‘out’ not ‘in’. A homosexual would be out in Church. And then the rafters would quake, and Linda Harvey would appear screaming “You don’t exist. Take your homosexual agenda back from whence it came.” Or words to that effect, as she is no wordsmith.

#3

battty boy bakery london

There’s a bakery in London for the gays? Man, that’s like so ghetto … Next there’ll be one for people who want to marry their cats, or Melanie Philips. Heaven forbid!

#4

nude otters

No, this isn’t about hairless little creatures – I am thinking of poor Tarka – it’s about naked men who are hairy but skinny(ish), unlike bears, and cubs, and … Well, it had better be, or I’m on to the RSPCA!

#5

gay shit on my face

Is gay shit different from straight shit? Unless this is imprecise vernacular and ‘shit’ really means ‘subjects pertaining to people who are gay’. But then why would it be ‘on’ and not ‘in’? These are the perils of a sub-par education …

#6

why is it important to stop homosexuality

That’s an easy one. It isn’t. Unless of course you’re an unhinged right-wing columnist like, say … Melanie Phillips.

#7

achilles dressed as a woman

I can see it now, poor Achilles finally gives in to Patroclus and says, “Ok, I’ll be the woman this time”. After all, that age old question asked to many a gay male couple – “so who’s the woman?” – needs to be answered!